Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Back After All This Time ...

... that being 3 & a half months, & I cannot tell you how much it delights me to say that in those 3 & a half months, I have had nothing more severe than a minor wibble in my emotional flatline. This is big; I've been accustomed to at least a bi-monthly flip, one way or the other (or both) for years & years!

I've been trying to figure out why this is, what I'm doing right. I've kept up the eating lots of fish & nuts whenever I can; this is not a hardship for me, except for the rare occasions when I'm looking at a restaurant menu & I'd really rather have the barbeque chicken than the poached salmon. I've given up trying to cut out caffeine, instead trying to just keep my caffeine intake on the low side; I've switched to decaf tea & though I still drink Coke more often than not, it's pretty much my only caffeine provider & I try to keep my intake regular. I exercise when I can, not frequently by any means but definitely more than I otherwise would, & alcohol ... well, I never really drank much before, so I haven't worried about it unless I've suspected I'm on a slide - then I won't go near it (no matter how much I really really want to). I'm feeling almost ready for an episode now - I know it's an illness, I know it's not my right frame of mind, I know there are people around to help me.

I'm really not convinced that I'm doing anything ground-breaking or amazing here; it's just some tips from my therapists, an 'experimental' theory on diet that I heard about in a documentary, & knowing I've got love & support. I'm currently counting my blessings that I evidently have a mild case that I can deal with without turning to drugs (yet), never mind how totally not mild it is when it really hits me. I hope this gives a few people out there a bit of hope in their own situations, too ... & I'll keep up the blog, however infrequently, for as long as I can.

I've been diligently using www.bipolarcharts.com all this time, & it is very interesting to look back & see the little line bobbing up & down. I can go back & click on the biggest highs or lowest lows to see what comments I put with them at the time, & get an idea of what was going on at the time. It's a really good analytical tool, & I strongly recommend using it. I can even put in how much exercise I'm doing at the time as well, & can look back & see if that seems to have a correlation (at the moment, a little) or how anxious I'm feeling, & look back at that too (lots of spikes with the lows & a few spikes with the highs, but spikes on their own don't seem to be bringing on either as far as I can tell).It's also kind of amusing to look back on at times, for example when I clicked on an astronomical spike on my anxiety chart & saw that it was the day I went to the dentist for a filling ...

I'm still keeping busy - larp, theatre, my little business & even a bit of gardening now that the weather's nice, & all alongside a full time job! So blog posts aren't going to be regular, but I'll do my best for you. Keep an eye on this, if it interests you ... I will be back.