Friday, 17 June 2011

Rules Were Made To Be ... Well, you know.

I've just clawed my way back from 2 rather nasty potholes in my emotional road. 2 weeks, 2 bouts of depression ... yay for me. Still, thankfully neither were as serious as they can be, & I emerged on the other side relatively unscathed. This is undoubtedly in part thanks to my lovely boyfriend, who did his best to keep making me smile with little thoughtful gestures like making me tea, cooking me my favourite dinner (mmm, salmon ...) & giving me backrubs. It's very hard to remain convinced that you're worthless & horrible when someone is constantly demonstrating that you're lovely & special. Thanks Tony.

During the second bout, however, I recalled reading on one of those nutrition sites I linked in my blog about diet that caffeine can help elevate a low mood. I never thought of caffeine as doing this - it might be obvious to you, but to me caffeine has always been an energy thing. But hey ho, you live, you learn. So when I realised my mood was plummeting & things were going to get worse before they got better, I broke my caffeine rule & had a bottle of Coke. I didn't expect it to do much.

It did, though. No dramatic change, I wasn't suddenly singing about rainbows & hugging everyone, but my mood did lift a little. Enough to get me out of the worst depths of my depression & begin clawing my way out again. Enough to prevent me bursting into tears at work & having to suppress the urge to take a sharp object to myself.

It looks like I'll be amending the caffeine rule to something like this: cut down on it generally, but keep it in mind for a helpful boost when my mood drops.