Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Back After All This Time ...

... that being 3 & a half months, & I cannot tell you how much it delights me to say that in those 3 & a half months, I have had nothing more severe than a minor wibble in my emotional flatline. This is big; I've been accustomed to at least a bi-monthly flip, one way or the other (or both) for years & years!

I've been trying to figure out why this is, what I'm doing right. I've kept up the eating lots of fish & nuts whenever I can; this is not a hardship for me, except for the rare occasions when I'm looking at a restaurant menu & I'd really rather have the barbeque chicken than the poached salmon. I've given up trying to cut out caffeine, instead trying to just keep my caffeine intake on the low side; I've switched to decaf tea & though I still drink Coke more often than not, it's pretty much my only caffeine provider & I try to keep my intake regular. I exercise when I can, not frequently by any means but definitely more than I otherwise would, & alcohol ... well, I never really drank much before, so I haven't worried about it unless I've suspected I'm on a slide - then I won't go near it (no matter how much I really really want to). I'm feeling almost ready for an episode now - I know it's an illness, I know it's not my right frame of mind, I know there are people around to help me.

I'm really not convinced that I'm doing anything ground-breaking or amazing here; it's just some tips from my therapists, an 'experimental' theory on diet that I heard about in a documentary, & knowing I've got love & support. I'm currently counting my blessings that I evidently have a mild case that I can deal with without turning to drugs (yet), never mind how totally not mild it is when it really hits me. I hope this gives a few people out there a bit of hope in their own situations, too ... & I'll keep up the blog, however infrequently, for as long as I can.

I've been diligently using www.bipolarcharts.com all this time, & it is very interesting to look back & see the little line bobbing up & down. I can go back & click on the biggest highs or lowest lows to see what comments I put with them at the time, & get an idea of what was going on at the time. It's a really good analytical tool, & I strongly recommend using it. I can even put in how much exercise I'm doing at the time as well, & can look back & see if that seems to have a correlation (at the moment, a little) or how anxious I'm feeling, & look back at that too (lots of spikes with the lows & a few spikes with the highs, but spikes on their own don't seem to be bringing on either as far as I can tell).It's also kind of amusing to look back on at times, for example when I clicked on an astronomical spike on my anxiety chart & saw that it was the day I went to the dentist for a filling ...

I'm still keeping busy - larp, theatre, my little business & even a bit of gardening now that the weather's nice, & all alongside a full time job! So blog posts aren't going to be regular, but I'll do my best for you. Keep an eye on this, if it interests you ... I will be back.

Sunday, 4 March 2012

Status Update: January & February 2012

I'm doing these two months together, not entirely because I've been too lazy/ busy to do them separately, but also because (cue fanfare) I've had a good couple of months! Apart from a few minor wobbles that turned out to be nothing much, I've had no serious ups or downs at all since New Year. This is pretty good, & I've been revelling in my normalcy!

I'm loving that Bipolar Charts thing, by the way. It's really helpful with keeping track, especially with my memory! I'm also tracking my exercise & my anxiety levels, just to see how they tally with my general mood. When I get some more dramatic images (not that I'm hoping) I'll have a bash at posting them on here, so you can see what it's like. In the meantime, if it's something you think might benefit you, go check it out. I posted a link for it last time, I think.

But I have been somewhat busy. I'm at the very start of organising a play (adverts for which will be forthcoming), I'm raising money for my charity of choice, The Sophie Lancaster Foundation (by going blonde .... photos can be seen at www.justgiving.com/Tracey-Carvill & if you like it you can still donate), still larping (of course) & continuing my slow amble towards having my own craft business by putting stuff together to trade at a larp fair in March! So yay, go me!

The next project on the horizon is the aforemantioned larp fair at the end of March. I say fair - it's more of a cross-system tournament, really, with a few stalls on the side. It's called LARP AID, it too is raising money for S.O.P.H.I.E (this year - it picks a new charity every year), & you can find out more at www.larpaid.org.uk if you're curious. I'll be going along as my latest alter-ego, Pixie, selling my wares & taking orders for custom pieces. Also I'll be one of the judges in the bards' tournament, yay!

So that's me for now ... all go & all good. Other than that, best wishes to my dear pal Lemur Lady, who writes that there blog 'Knitting My Own Yoghurt' on here, who recently had a bit of an accident, bless her. Hope you pull through!

Thanks for reading!

Saturday, 7 January 2012

Status Update: December 2011

Mostly, December was fine. It's generally a good, albeit rather stressful month for me; it has both my birthday & Xmas in it, not to mention New Year, which are all good, happy party times, but as I work in retail, it can get rather crazy on the work front. Also I can't take any holiday time in December, so it's all go.

Unfortunately, my mood started to drop around the 28th, & just after New Year it really plummeted. (Yes I know that's technically not December, but it's relevant, & it's my blog, so nyeh.) I just lifted out of it in the last couple of days, so it was a long one, though thankfully not a really severe one. I am currently glaring suspiciously at the (comparatively) large amount of alcohol (depressant) I drank over the previous 3 weeks, & vowing to be more careful next year. Once in a while, getting pleasantly riddled on rum doesn't seem to do me any harm, but this was ... let me count ... five? ... times in 3 weeks. Ah, Xmas. The season of goodwill.

Well, they do say January is a depressing month ...